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Results : Jokes
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What? Blond Men Jokes? - charles-smythe Jokes, Blond, What,
Blond Men

Well, I guess it just had to come to this sooner or later!



A blond man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: Did you find the shampoo?

He answers, Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine.


------------------------------------

A blond man spies a letter lying on his doormat.

It says on the envelope DO NOT BEND.

He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.

------------------------------------

A blond man shouts frantically into the phone, My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!

Is this her first child? asks the Doctor.

No! he shouts, this is her husband!

---------------------------------

A blond man is in jail, the guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.

Just WHAT are you doing? he asks.
...
Short Jokes - charles-smythe Jokes, Short,
I've just opened a new restaurant called Karma. There's no menu, we just give you what you deserve.

I had a dream I was a muffler and I woke up exhausted.

Today I gave my dead batteries away....Free of charge.

If you are running next to me on the treadmill, the answer is YES, we are racing.

Being honest may not get you a lot of FRIENDS but it'll always get you the RIGHT ONES.

I'm going to stand outside. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding.

I'm so bright my mother calls me son.

Pencil sharpeners have a tough life.... they live off tips.

My eyelids are so sexy, I can't keep my eyes off them.

I am going bananas. Thats what i say to my bananas before I leave the house

What fits your schedule better......Exercising 1 hour a day or being fat 24 hours a day?

I heard a story about a broken pencil that I'd tell you but it's pointless

...
Polish Jokes - charles-smythe Jokes, Polish,
One sunny day in January, 2017, an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue where he'd been sitting on a park bench.

He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said, I would like to go in and meet with President Obama.

The Marine looked at the man and said, Sir, Mr. Obama is no longer President and no longer resides here.

The old man said, Okay, and walked away.

The following day the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, I would like to go in and meet with President Obama.

The Marine again told the man, Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Obama is no longer President and no longer resides here.

The man thanked him and again just walked away. The third day the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same U.S. Marine, saying, I would like to go in and meet with President Obama.

The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, Sir, this is the...
Blond Jokes - azguy Jokes, Blond,
This guy goes to sit at his plane seat in first class, and finds a blonde there. He says, excuse me miss, but this is my seat. She replies, I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I have a great body and I'm going to Florida. So the guy calls the stewardess over to help him.

He explains the situation to the stewardess, and the stewardess says, miss, your seat is in coach, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave first class. The blonde response, I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I have a great body, and I'm going to Florida.

The stewardess then goes to get the captain to help her, and the captain asks the blonde to please leave first class, and go back to coach. The blonde response, I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I have a great body, and I'm going to Florida. The captain thinks about this for a minute, then whispers something in the blondes ear. As soon as he does, she gets up and goes back to coach..

The stewardess is amazed. What did you say? The captain replies, I told her first class doesn't go...
Nothing But Dirty Jokes - admin Jokes, Dirty, Nothing,
25th Anniversary

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?

The husband replied, All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry.

Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, What are you thinking now?

He replied, It looks as if I did a pretty good job.

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