For Those Who Play With Others: How do You....

[Don Williams]

I have had four experiences playing with other men, in the relatively recent past, and I'm looking to hop back on that horse, in the next day or two. As I've mentioned before, the young guys and Cds and lots of the ones my age really want to ride or throat this pony, and I really want to let them. On, virtually, every encounter, before, I thoroughly enjoyed the experience (except for the first guy's teeth). The problem that I face is that, after every encounter, my anxiety regarding STDs, goes through the roof.

I LOVE these experiences and, even more importantly, I love the fact that (with possibly one exception) there is no guilt, because there is no desire, on either part, for anything more than to get off. Just two guys helping each other out. The passion of two men having sex, with absolutely no expectation of anything else is something that really surprised me. Men are truly grateful for almost every encounter. Young and old WORSHIP a fat daddy dick! Mind-blowing! The anonymity of these encounters is one of the greatest benefits. It is, also, the primary risk factor.

For anyone with greater experience: How does one overcome this anxiety? For me, it's kind of debilitating.

[Paulman999]

Not greater experience, about the same. 4 or 5 experiences in last yr or two, Amazed how many bottom subs want to suck this old fat guys hard cock. I stick with married, downlow guys like myself, and generally only feed, Most guys I’ve vetted through conversations over a decent time to get comfortable. They are taking as much risk swallowing my seed as I am with them. I avoid sniffies n random meets, though I admit I’ve been tempted, Always a lil guilt just before n shortly after but the release makes it worthwhile. I’m surprised how much I enjoy the mutual touching n closeness, always leave feeling relaxed. I’m interested in sucking select cocks (one so far) but can’t stop enjoying the feeling of release in a willing bottoms mouth. I guess to you I say “you are not alone”

[PeterWatson]

We all have this same issue. There are lots of guys out there who seem to be willing to just suck your cock or feed you, but how many of these guys take safety seriously and how many carry some STD because of this.

If there were no STD's and you didn't risk meeting crazy people who just want to wreck your life, I would be having sexual encounters every week. But the world is not that way so I continue to search for that perfect match and until I find one, its just me and my vibrator.

[StarroftheNite]

Being careful about casual sex is a multi-faceted thing. I am a crossdresser, and have been dating men since the late 1990's. The first thing I consider when talking about safety is on the personal level. I try to remain cognizant that when I go out in my female clothing, wig, makeup, and accessories that the better job I do at feminizing myself so I can blend and pass that I am opening myself up as a potential victim to the kind of mindset that abuses women and demi-women like me. I don't do hookups except when I've had a chance to meet the person and talk with him. I admit that I've hooked-up with people I've met at bars, and that's a risky business if done promiscuously. But, I also realize that if you're in the Demi-Monde you have chosen a lifestyle which cannot be maintained without some risk.

Regarding STD, I think that it depends to a large extent on being selective about the men that you are meeting, and what you're doing with them. Statistics indicate that Bottoms run a much, much higher risk of getting AIDS than Tops, but I think that the risk for gonorrhea, syphilis, HPV, herpes and chlamydia are much more equally balanced. The risk of a middle-aged married man who has encounters primarily with people with similar demographic profile is pretty low. However, I try to guide myself by the policy that if I have sex with someone I'm also having sex with every person with whom he has had relations for the past year or so. I don't hook-up with people from Doublelist, Grindr, or Tinder, and never used Craigslist when it had personal ads. I only have sex with people whom I've met on neutral turf like a coffee house or a generic bar. So, my personal belief is that being selective is the first line of defense. In the end, the only sure, prudent thing is to demand that your partner uses protection if he's the Top, or vice versa if you are. And, we all have to be cognizant that many STD can be transmitted through exchange of saliva almost as easily as seminal fluid or mucous from the anus or vagina.

Even kissing between two hetero people can transmit. https://www.healthline.com/health/sexua ... om-kissing Hope the link works.

I've been stupid at times, and have let men whom I've not known well fuck me bareback in the heat of the moment, but have been lucky. I've always been nervous after a man cums inside me. Query: I'm inclined to be a Bottom only, and wonder how satisfactory is oral sex when the Top is wearing a prophylactic? I've sucked-off a few guys who've worn protection, and it really takes a lot of the joy out of the process for me as the fellator.

[Don Williams]

I've been stupid at times, and have let men whom I've not known well fuck me bareback in the heat of the moment, but have been lucky. I've always been nervous after a man cums inside me. Query: I'm inclined to be a Bottom only, and wonder how satisfactory is oral sex when the Top is wearing a prophylactic? I've sucked-off a few guys who've worn protection, and it really takes a lot of the joy out of the process for me as the fellator.

Regarding oral: For me, at least, as a receiver, If I have to wear a condom, I might as stay home. I will, happily, swap, if necessary.

I haven't exactly worked out a position on anal. I've done it once - and it was bareback and felt GREAT. The guy was mature, and clean. I almost did it, a second time with a guy who was very young (says he was 19, but recently changed his listed age to 21 on sniffies, so I blocked him) and didn't douche. That wasn't going to happen. Even within my marriage, because of an unfortunate incident many years ago, anal was something we just didn't do. I do not get fucked, partially from a fear that I may enjoy it.

Before anyone judges me for playing with young guys, have you SEEN some of them?

In any case, I appreciate the advice, folks. I didn't think I was alone.

[Don Williams]

I was supposed to hook up with someone unbelievably-hot, today, but I couldn't make myself. I just don't want to deal with the anxiety, again. I even deleted my sniffies account. GRRR! Presently, the unfortunate outcome of having addressed some of my curiosity is that I now know (at least for the moment) that the illicit fun is not worth the risk of contracting an STD. Wonder how long that will last. Am I going to have to delete my fetlife account, as well?

Fuck! I'm SO mad at myself!


Flakety flake, flake, flake!

[PeterWatson]

I was supposed to hook up with someone unbelievably-hot, today, but I couldn't make myself. I just don't want to deal with the anxiety, again. I even deleted my sniffies account. GRRR! Presently, the unfortunate outcome of having addressed some of my curiosity is that I now know (at least for the moment) that the illicit fun is not worth the risk of contracting an STD. Wonder how long that will last. Am I going to have to delete my fetlife account, as well?

Fuck! I'm SO mad at myself!


Flakety flake, flake, flake!

I would not be mad at myself. If you caught an STD, that 30 minutes of fun would turn into how many weeks of regret. I have done that thing where you decide you are done with a thing and delete your account or your stash of wacking off material, and then, after a while, you regret the action and try to get back what you deleted. Maybe that is a good idea and maybe not. Sometimes I was able to recover what I deleted and sometimes not. Clearly I have gone through this more than once.

If you are going to play, best you take it slow and easy. Get comfortable with the person you are going to have sex with, and feel good after the encounter is over. The rush to immediate pleasure is tempting, but the results can be disasterous.

Go slow my friend, and have a long and satisfying set of relationships that do not ruin your life.

[Blindboxone]

Not greater experience, about the same. 4 or 5 experiences in last yr or two, Amazed how many bottom subs want to suck this old fat guys hard cock. I stick with married, downlow guys like myself, and generally only feed, Most guys I’ve vetted through conversations over a decent time to get comfortable. They are taking as much risk swallowing my seed as I am with them. I avoid sniffies n random meets, though I admit I’ve been tempted, Always a lil guilt just before n shortly after but the release makes it worthwhile. I’m surprised how much I enjoy the mutual touching n closeness, always leave feeling relaxed. I’m interested in sucking select cocks (one so far) but can’t stop enjoying the feeling of release in a willing bottoms mouth. I guess to you I say “you are not alone”

I prefer mutual masterbation, frotting, and receiving head myself. I’m 48 years old. I visited my first gloryhole at 20 years old. I’ve never reciprocated. Only received. There is something so powerful about these anonymous encounters that I can’t recreate in my relationships

[Don Williams]

. . .There is something so powerful about these anonymous encounters that I can’t recreate in my relationships

This is more powerful than I ever expected it to be. The over-flowing appreciation, from a hungry cock-sucker is something I cannot describe. I have had my share of blowjobs, in my lifetime. Never have I seen the level of appreciation that I've experienced in my recent hook-ups. I always walk away feeing like I am walking on air, whether I cum or not. I still have issues coming from oral, but I'm working on it.

I'm still looking for that mind-bending man-head that is the stuff of legend.


Also, I feel far less anxious when I'm receiving head, than anything else. I may just limit myself to that. . . unless I'm with some hot, willing, freshly-douched twink. Then, all bets are off.

[SomaSlave]

It's always about risk mitigation and reduction, not risk elimination. I sucked a cock again last Saturday for the first time since the COVID mess started. I was supposed to meet a man with whom I had been corresponding at a local ABS. He was older (in his late 50s) and married, two of the things I look for in a potential play partner.

About 15 minutes after I arrived, he texted me and told me he was in the parking lot, but nervous about the people he saw going in and asked about meeting somewhere private, like a bathroom [sic...bathrooms are not private, and I'm not risking arrest for a bit of fun]. I told him I was already inside and encouraged him to join me...no reply.

I made the rounds of the ABS and didn't see anyone that appealed to me. I went back to the main theater room and saw a man who was a match: older, married and slightly nervous looking. He was wearing baggy shorts (no underwear) and a tee shirt and, after I looked down at his crotch and licked my lips, he told me I could touch it. I did, he suggested a booth, and I had my first taste of cock and cum in over two years. It was glorious!

Was there a risk in sucking off a total stranger? Of course, but I judged the risk to be acceptable, given his appearance and cleanliness. It's all a matter of acceptable risk. Once you've established your own parameters for that, you can have fun with less anxiety.