FWB: What Does That Mean to You? Anyone Have One?

[Don Williams]

The most common interest on the gay hook-up sites is people seeking a friend with benefits. It's like, the Holy Grail. When I see that, I often wonder what that means to people. In my case, I don't (necessarily) want someone I can "hang out" with or with whom I can watch a football game. I'm not really a sports fan. Maybe a camping and/or hiking buddy would be nice (as long at the "campground" is a comfortable, air-conditioned motel room). What I mean, in my case, is a "partner in crime." I want someone to go to parties with or to tag-team some man, woman, or couple. I thought I might have had that, but as the person was 1/3 my age, it turned out to be more trouble than I was willing to deal with. That probably had something to do with his asking me to buy liquor and changing the age on his Sniffies profile. Don't Judge me. It would have been nice to bring him to parties and very convenient for pick-ups, but. . .

What does a FWB look like to you? Have you had one?

[SUBBI]

To me, it would be more akin to a Fuck Buddy. Someone who shared similar proclivities and wanted nothing more than a no strings attached get together to fulfill them. Share messages, kinks, act out fantasies, respect boundaries in bed and outside. Oh and a filthy mind and a gorgeous cock!

[Don Williams]

Agreed. All I want is a reliable, ready partner.

[Nething4luv]

To me, it would mean someone reliable, easy going and ready to share their time whether it be meeting up to go to a party together or having a smaller party just by ourselves.

Would like it if it came from getting to chat with one another either online or in person to develop that mutual trust and reliability first.

[SUBBI]

That "development" is a good point. Hate it when I'm on sites like Fabguys and you get "You free?" as the opening and closing gambit. "Yeah - I'm on my way now to get fucked by a total stranger I know nothing about"

[Nething4luv]

Exactly the point, SUBBI. I want to at least have a chance to get to know the person a little before diving into anything.

[SUBBI]

Agree. And the preamble can be hot!

[BrokenQuill]

For a short while before the pandemic I was regularly meeting a guy. We got on really well and were gettign more, and more adventurous. Then during the pandemic I changed jobs and he moed away.

The change of work means that I dont get time during the day to slip out for an hour or two without having to answer questions. And my friend is much too far away now anyway

[Don Williams]

That "development" is a good point. Hate it when I'm on sites like Fabguys and you get "You free?" as the opening and closing gambit. "Yeah - I'm on my way now to get fucked by a total stranger I know nothing about"

That's funny. On Sniffies, the most common greetings are "sup" or "hey." No picture, no stats, nothing. At least "you free?" is two syllables and allows you to politely decline. I've found (and I kinda respect) that some people are looking for "now" and putting it out there, up front. My very first encounter was spur-of-the-moment and totally anonymous, and quite enjoyable, except for the teeth. Those are also the easiest ones to terminate, in the moment. No passion, though (which is the goal of a FWB arrangement), unless you're the one sucking the dick. Cock suckers get surprisingly passionate about their "craft." In anonymous situations, I only get passionate about great head.